How you can support a loved one going through cancer treatment.

By Karen Sharkey

• A true friend accompanies there buddy to chemotherapy.
  This is a comfort and good distraction for the person going through chemo. Being there for even part of the time lets them know you truly support them.
  
• Transportation to chemotherapy, radiation or doctor appointment
  Offer to provide transportation for your friend or loved one to and from their appointments.
   
• Arrange for a house cleaning  
  Get together with family or friends, pool resources to pay for house cleaning services or find out if there is a free house cleaning service available for cancer patients in your area. Schedule the cleaning while your friend is at chemotherapy. They will comehome to a clean house and fresh bed. Request that the cleaning service use scent and chemical free products. 
    
• Telephone calls
  Call before you visit to make sure it’s a good day to see your friend. If they say it is not, don’t take it personally, they are probably just exhausted and need to rest. Try again another day. Keep phone call short so your friend doesn’t get too tired. Find out what their daily schedule is like and when their rest times are; be considerate, don’t call or visit during these times. 
   
• Visiting
  Remember that the person you want to visit is going through cancer treatment. Honor their requests that you wear a mask, use hand sanitizer or wash your hands. Keep your visits short. It’s better to visit more frequently and stay for a short while rather than wear the person out by hanging around for a long time. Consider that you may not be their only visitor that day.
   
• Online Video Communication
  Help set up Skype or a similar service so the person going through treatment can see and communicate via video camera and computer on the days that their immune systems are compromised and they are unable to have visitors.  Being able to connect with family and friends far away can be a great support when going through treatment. 
   
• E-mails and e-cards
  E-mail and e-cards are always appreciated. Send then often to let the person know that you are thinking of them. When treatment drags on for a while it’s easy to feel discouraged and isolated. Emails can make all the difference when feeling alone and depressed. Let your loved one know that you don’t expect them to reply to your e-mails or e-cards.
   
• Cards
  Commit to continue to send cards in the mail weekly if possible. They provide encouragement and let your friend know you are thinking of them. Include a positive thought or poem to focus on. Receiving a card from a friend when struggling to get through a really difficult day can be a great support.

FOOD IDEAS

• Prepare and drop off meals
  Its good to have someone take charge, organize and coordinate meal drop off with several people to avoid overlap. Be considerate, avoid bringing foods that are known food allergens, cause digestive upset or are off limits to the person going through treatment. 
  
• Find out what the family food likes and dislikes are.
  
• Bring homemade soup (that isn’t heavily spiced). Soups will help get more liquid in the diet, are easy to digest. Soups provide nurturing warmth.
    
• Bring meals that freezer ready, so the cancer survivor may easily take out the foods that morning and warm up the meal when they are on their own during the day with little effort. Often making a cup of tea is a huge task for someone that is going through chemotherapy.  
   
• Soft moist foods like yogurt, mashed potatoes, applesauce, or custard are easy to eat and are soothing to a dry, sore mouth.
   
• Fruit like melons, plums, peaches, grapes, mangoes are juicy and provide moisture in the mouth and have good flavor.
   
• Teas like Mint, Ginger or Hibiscus are soothing for a queasy stomach. If feeling overheated Mint has a cooling effect. Ginger tea will provide warmth if feeling chilled. Include some Stevia to provide a natural sweetener alternative without fluctuations in blood sugar or promotion of tooth decay.
   
• Popsicles will sooth a sore mouth and throat. Look for popsicles that are made of fruit not artificial ingredients. Frozen bananas are a good in a pinch too.  
   
• Groceries Bring by staples to provide a variety of foods to prepare several meals.  During cancer treatment often household budgets are stretched, copayments for care maybe paid before the pantry is stocked.

 ENTERTAINMENT

• Loan your DVD, VHS or audio book library to your loved one.  
   
• Purchase a Netflix gift card and assist them with setting the account up online to begin receiving movies.
   
• Offer to take your friend to a movie when they are feeling up to it once their immune system won’t be compromised by being out in public. Getting out might be just the thing to brighten their mood.  

• Purchase a Booksfree gift card. Audio books can be a source of entertainment when it’s too hard to concentrate to read.

• Avoid fashion magazines especially ones focused on hair. Food magazines may not be especially appealing for someone experiencing nausea. Bring magazines about crafts, gardening, travel or special interests

• Make a mixed music CD or relaxation CD to help your friend turn a long afternoon in bed into a period of total relaxation.
   
• Get together with friends and purchase an iPod or CD player for so your friend can listen to music or books while at chemotherapy or resting in bed.

ADDITIONAL GIFT IDEAS

• Hats made of breathable fabrics are the most comfortable if your loved one/friend is experiencing sweats or hot flashes. Find a hat that is soft, stretchy, washable and with no seams to aggravate a tender head.
   
• Scarves Choose scarves made of colors that the person wears. Look for scarves made of breathable fabric that is washable and large enough to tie on the head in several different ways are ideal. Include instructions about how to tie the scarf.
   
• A gift with special meaning give your loved one something they can have in their pocket or hold in their hand during treatment like a stone, token, of charm with special meaning. It is a reminder that they are not alone and that you care for them.
   
• Write a positive affirmation that can be read or can be recited to themselves when feeling scared, discouraged or alone.
   
• Give the person you care about something to make them smile and remind them that they are loved.